Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Straight From the Horse's Vagina

Sophie and Molly went to the bookstore today, because the library was closed and Molly needed a book right this minute. Molly came back with a copy of Twilight, which I’m not even going to comment on, since I prefer my vampires of the Salem’s Lot variety rather than the sparkly hairless-chested Jonas Brothers type. Sophie, however, definitely scored in the book department. She came back with a visible horse, which is just totally, totally awesome. Remember the Visible Man models from when we were kids? A plastic statue of a human man, with breakaway organs and bones, designed to show kids the anatomy of a person? Well, this is the same thing, only it’s a book with a plastic toy transparent horse in the center of it, and every page you turn reveals more and more of the underlying tissue and matter under the horse’s skin (and since it’s a three-dimensional model, as you reveal more of the horse on one page as you go, the pieces that come away on one page start to build up on the other, so that you’re constantly getting a breaking down-building up dynamic going).

Sophie is absolutely in love with this book. Her grasp of equine anatomy is shady at best, but she is all too eager to point out the various organs to you. She made me read it with her five times alone this afternoon, jabbing her finger at the bits and pieces as we went.

“That his brain, Daddy,” she said, pointing at the horse’s stomach with certainty. I could see where she would have trouble with this, because for a large animal, a horse’s brain sure is awfully small (at least in this plastic model it was; I’ve never seen a real horse’s brain, nor do I feel a deep-seated need to), and her stomach is right there, huge and obvious and  just waiting to be pointed at by a sticky little finger. Oddly, the only organ she nailed correctly each time we went through the book was the horse’s uterus, which Molly had explained to her was where baby horses came from. Sophie has been on a “babies come from mommy’s tummy” kick the past couple of weeks, so maybe this explains why she’s Dr. Doolittle all of a sudden when it comes to a horse’s reproductive organs.

When I got home from work this evening, after Sophie had gone to bed, I went up to check on her like I always do. She'd pulled her baby's crib upstairs and into her room, and there was a doll propped up in it, looking disturbingly like one of those old Victorian photos of a baby, dead from small pox or cholera, that you could use to show your relatives what the child looked like before the funeral, some five or six months before the arrival of said relatives by train from the other coast. Sophie was asleep in her bed with her visible horse book cradled under her arm, where I assume she'd fallen asleep while pointing out its uterus again and again to her terminally ill, pox-ridden baby.

I'm guessing the baby's autopsy begins in the morning.
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