Zombie Child, Smack Smack On Your Face!

Once upon a time, Sophie woke in the middle of the night, looked directly at me and said calmly, "Zombies gonna eat me." She then immediately fell back asleep.

Another time, she was playing on the living room floor when she suddenly said, apropos of nothing, "Zombies are coming."

Today she crawled on top of me while I was laying on the couch, put her face directly in mine and said, "Gonna eat your brains, Daddy."

She's three. We don't watch zombie movies while she's around, play zombie video games or even use the word zombie in her presence.

My daughter creeps me the fuck out sometimes.

I Know Why the Caged Zombie Sings

Sophie and I found a bird's nest in the eaves above our front porch.

"See that?" I said. "That's a bird's nest. Birds built that so they would have someplace to put their eggs. One day the eggs will hatch and little baby birds will come out."

"Like eggs in the kitchen," Sophie said.

"Well, just like that, only birds come out of these, and birds don't come out of the ones in the refrigerator. You were in an egg once, in your mommy's tummy."

She gasped and put her hands up to either side of her face. "Don't eat me! I am a kid! Zombies don't eat me!"

It's always about the zombies with the little squirt.